• Are mornings too chaotic? Although it is not uncommon for parents to say that school mornings are often frantic and hectic, it might be useful to assess what would make them less so. Identify what might be the source of the primary stress and seek alternatives solutions. For example, if the kids take too long to get ready, you can get them up earlier, have them pick out their clothes the night before, or get them to bed earlier so that they are ready to get going in the morning.
• Are you over-scheduled? It is okay to limit the number of extracurricular activities your kids are involved in, especially if you have more than one child. You can have them choose one after school activity (sport, class) that they can do and enjoy. They might get more out of being involved in one after school activity they enjoy rather than several activities that they may dread doing.  And, as a parent, you might be more present and less overwhelmed if you do not have to run around along with them.
• Are electronics turned off long before bedtime? Studies have shown that kids’ brains need time to turn off before they can fall asleep after playing video games or watching TV. To make sure they are getting the rest they need, establish a bedtime routine that includes no video games, online activity, game playing on their phones, or TV viewing for at least one hour before bedtime. Lack of good sleep can lead to less cooperative behaviors the next day and difficulties at school.

Ultimately, our job as parents is to help our children make good choices and develop life skills that will guide them for life. It is never too early to get started on good habits and to learn how to prioritize.  We can be their best tutor—by modeling.

Photo via: FreeFoto.com

“I am overwhelmed…”

“I am going crazy…”

“I need a break…”

We have even gotten to the point where being stressed has become the thing-to-do. I have had people tell me that if they are not constantly busy, they feel as if they are not doing their part. We seem to be wearing our stress as a badge of honor and endurance. But at what cost? Are we any happier or more fulfilled?

In the past few decades, we have seen an increase in the number of hours Americans spend at work and away from their families, creating a struggle to find work-life balance. In comparison to other industrialized nations, generally, U.S .workers have less vacation time and take less time off — even when they have earned paid leave.

How does this affect our mental health?

First, we need to define mental health. Good mental health is not just the absence of psychological concerns. It is a resilient spirit that lifts us when we are down, helps us heal when we are hurt, that gives us inner strength when we are burdened.

Then, it’s time to ask yourself some questions to help take stock of your own mental health.

• Do you feel you have balance in your life? If the answer is no, then it might be time to assess what or who is stripping it away. Balance can only be achieved if we make a decision to work toward it. It does not happen magically nor can it be bought.

• Do you regularly engage in behaviors that are nurturing for you? Kids may not the only ones who need a “time-out.” Adults can also benefit from making time to recharge. It may take a good book, good company or a good walk.  Find what works for you and use it.

• Do you surround yourself with positive people that make you want to be a better person? Negativity can be contagious. Be aware of those individuals in your life that drain you and limit your time with them. Invite people into your life that want to better themselves and grow. It makes the journey of life much more enjoyable!

• Are you clear on your values? How you spend your resources (time, money, energy) should reflect your true priorities. By intentionally making decisions that match your values, you can experience greater happiness and authenticity in your life.

Mental health affects all aspects of our lives. When you take charge of it, you can make a big difference in how you live, love, and even how often you laugh. Today is a great time to start!

Photo by Jeff Henshaw via Flickr

We seem to have an insatiable desire to examine and draw inferences as to what this digital revolution is all about and how to tackle it. However, we do not need to be jumping to conclusions. We should be careful not to make generalizations about Facebook users based on some of their postings or their profile pictures. We simply do not have enough objective analysis and well-designed studies to draw firm conclusions –at least not yet.

Perhaps the focus still needs to be on the way we interface with others digitally. We keep hearing the now too familiar warning that ‘what you write online will always be online.’ Yet, we find enough users that provide, what seems as, too much information about their lives to the point that reading their posts almost feels like a violation of their privacy. Did I really need to know that about you and your partner or your kids?  Remember, it might be better to:

1. Not say something on Facebook that you would not say in person.
2. Keep from saying something about someone else that you would not want others to say about you either. Ultimately, what you say could also reflect poorly on you.
3. Facebook can be a tool to enhance relationships, but it should not become a substitute for face-to-face interactions.
4. Despite any security settings, your Facebook entries may not be 100% private. This is especially true if you “facebook” at work or about work.

It is amazing how much information some people are willing to share on Facebook (where they are going, what they are doing while at work, what they just bought, what they think of their boss). Yet, we must actively consider if the information shared can make us personally and/or professionally vulnerable. For instance, would you tell your boss that your job is a complete bore? Or would you go out of town and let the newspapers pile up in your front lawn?  Not likely…Yet, giving an account of your every move and mood is just about the same. Perhaps we need to be more thoughtful about what it is we share. After all, if we would not stand up in front of a crowd to share certain personal information, maybe we should not do so online either.

Photo by MrTopf via flckr

The question that comes to mind for me is, what are we trying to prove? Worse yet, what is this doing to our children who are being set-up to think that they are entitled to every holiday wish?

Here are some things for parents to consider:

1. Prioritize your children’s top wishes

Children often say they want just about all that they see on TV or at the store, just to forget it by the next day. Pay attention to the things that they are consistently interested in and that you feel are reasonable and age-appropriate.

2. Avoid giving them any indication that they will get all they want

Give yourself permission to put your holiday expenses on a budget. You can even set a budget limit on what kids request from Santa. Do not get carried away by the holiday rush. Remember what it feels like when the bills hit the mailbox in January. If you are proactive, you just might avert a case of post-holiday shock.

3. Make holiday memories that are truly long-lasting

Children might not remember what gift or toy they got two holidays ago. However, they will remember that together you sang songs by the fire, or had snow ball fights, or baked special holiday cookies, or made new ornaments each year.

Remember that not giving your children all they want does not make you a bad parent. Even if you could afford it, do they really need to have it all?  Is that really what the holidays are all about? Do they even appreciate what they get? Who are you truly trying to satisfy? The answers to these questions might surprise you, but may also bring more joy and sanity to your holiday season.

Photo via Bing

The results of the 2010 Stress in America survey were revealed last week by the American Psychological Association. One surprising finding was that parents continue to underestimate how their stress levels affect their children and the family at large. It appears that parents erroneously believe that children are being somehow protected from the effects of their stress. Yet, children tell us otherwise.

As a parent, how do you know when your child might be experiencing too much stress? Here are some warning signs to look for in your children:

• Headaches or stomach aches
• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
• Clinginess
• Increase in tantrums
• Displays of anger or picking fights with others
• Decline in academic performance

Children may not be able to directly identify or share how stress is affecting them. As parents, we need to become more aware, not only of how our children are handling stress, but how we are managing our own stress levels. We need to lead by example. If children see us engaging in healthy stress management they will, in turn, learn how to handle stressful times in productive ways. The best thing about stress is that it is never too late to start a healthy and rewarding stress management routine.

Photo by Tracy (via flickr)