June is Men’s Health Month, but why is there even a need for such an occasion? To keep up with Women’s Health Month? No, according to the Men’s Health Network,  the purpose is to heighten the awareness of preventable health problems and encourage early detection and treatment of disease among men and boys.

What’s so different about the health of men? Unlike women, sadly many men take much better care of maintaining their vehicle than they do their physical body.

Unlike women, who generally begin yearly checkups during puberty, there’s no such clear developmental marker for men. Unless a guy developed a chronic condition as a child, such as asthma, he’s probably not going to start having routine physical examinations. Many wait until they’re facing a health crisis or someone pushes them to do so. Worse yet, some actively avoid visits to a physician even when they don’t feel right, often until it’s too late.

Why do men put off exams?

The first reason is mentioned above—lack of a clear message that regular checkups are important. Unless a father “models the behavior” by demonstrating that this is part of a man’s normal routine, the message is often neither sent nor received.

Another reason that men neglect health maintenance is often because of the way men perceive society’s expections of them. Women are taught to seek help, but men are socialized to be strong and independent, a blessing and a curse that plagues us in many life arenas. A visit to a physician’s office typically feels to a man like help-seeking, which translates psychologically to a feeling of “weakness” or inferiority.

Of course, this is nonsense from a logical perspective: no one is self-sufficient. We employ physicians no differently from the way we hire any other expert consultant, whether auto mechanics or accountants. But something about the exam experience seems to provoke a “one-down” feeling among many individuals of both sexes.

Finally, many men experience anxiety about various medical procedures, from having blood drawn to the dreaded digital rectal prostate exam, which some view frankly as an unwanted sexual threat.

What is needed is a change in culture and education

We need both direct information and in the form of fathers showing their sons that routine physical exams are as important as routine auto maintenance like an oil change.

The federal government is trying to get out the message to men and their loved ones. A new ad campaign uses humor and shock. For example, in one ad, a sales clerk tells a man to not bother taking out a two-year warranty on his new electronics gadget. The man’s going to die before then because he missed out an important dection test.

How you can help men

If you know a man—husband, father, or brother—who has not made regular check-ups a habit, talk to him about it. Use the auto analogy above, if it helps, or another one that would work for him.

Let him know you care, that you’d like to keep him around a long time. Tug at his heartstrings: Point out all the important family events that you know he’d like to be part of, like watching children and grandchildren grow, graduate, and marry.

Remind him that he’s in charge of the examination process, not the physician, who is an expert consultant. Point out that it’s easier to prevent problems or reduce their impact with early detection. And speaking of prevention, the top health threats are often preventable by the usual behavioral strategies: exercise, nutrition and stress management.

Photo by j. reed (via flickr).

Legal recognition of the equal importance of mental and physical health is long overdue. But sometimes still lagging is the world of practice, a fact that continues to affect folks. Older health care professionals were taught that “we have a mind and we have a body”, as if the two were separate, and the professional should focus only on their “territory”. Some continue to practice this way, despite the fact that psychological and medical science have confirmed for many years that we do live in “mind-body systems” whose parts are interrelated in complex ways.

This principle — interconnected mind-body health — is the foundation of all modern health care, beginning with the understanding that we are all primarily responsible for managing our own well-being.  It’s great to see the progress in understanding in our society represented in “mental health parity”.

This is a very different perspective from the way much of our society views anxiety: physical tension, worry, or some combination of the two, and mainly, something unpleasant that we want to get rid of just as quickly as possible. Why won’t it just go away and leave us alone? We distract ourselves by keeping busy; some try to calm their nerves by drinking or using drugs (prescription or not), but the system continues trying to gain the attention of our conscious mind, often escalating to involve other methods of signaling if necessary: insomnia, headaches, digestive problems, sexual dysfunction, and more, often leading to full-blown panic attacks. 

This avoidance strategy is a little bit like covering up the warning lights and gauges on our cars if we don’t like what they tell us, and usually leads to what professionals call an Anxiety Disorder. Perhaps the word should be spelled as Dis-order, since anxiety itself is not pathological, but problems do result from ignoring or avoiding it. This may be what some psychologists mean when they suggest that our society is suffering from an epidemic of “affect phobia”, an unnatural fear of natural emotions. 

All of this is avoidable if we realize that anxiety carries a message, and if we take the time to simply notice it and ask ourselves: “What does this mean? What is my mind trying to tell me?”. The usual result of this approach is awareness of one or more emotions about something that has been troubling us. Past, present, or future, these emotional reactions inform us about what’s important in our lives, and offer the opportunity to take corrective action, even if only internally. The “Focusing” method, developed by Dr. Eugene Gendlin (www.focusing.org) and certain meditative approaches are well suited to this set of skills that we all need. Learning to use the language of emotions, and to distinguish them from thoughts are vital skills in developing emotional literacy. Once we have the tools for managing them, we can see emotions as well as their first signs like anxiety as helpful sources of information, rather than something to be feared and avoided.

Some folks can make these adjustments without missing a beat, but others agonize over the dreaded “what will others think,” or frustration about not meeting their own expectations. Here are some usual tips for keeping an even keel over the coming weeks (reminders are always a good thing!) as well as a few you may be reading for the first time: 

• Maintain your usual stress management routine. We often sacrifice the very strategies—exercise, meditation, sleep, nutrition, and time for ourselves—that help us stay healthy and balanced enough to enjoy the season. If you have a healthy sex life, consider that one aspect of it may be stress reduction.
• Pace yourself. Most people are busier this time of year, and benefit from using some system of planning, prioritizing and scheduling activities.
• Keep your expectations realistic. This is a learnable skill, and one that’s important to prevent frustration. See the previous item, and be honest with yourself about budgeting time and money.
• Spend time with other people. At no time of the year does the stress-relieving value of spending time with those in our social support system of friends and family seem more important. If you feel alone, take action to remedy this situation, even if it involves using community resources. Better yet, if you feel up to it, volunteering often feels great, and can be a way to make new friends with shared values.
• Watch out for regression. Once among their “family of origin”—parents and siblings—many feel a strong tendency to regress emotionally and in relationship patterns. It helps if you make a conscious effort to remain in your adult state of mind, but also note emotional reactions from the child aspect of yourself.
• Have fun but in moderation. Keep in mind that even “having fun” can be stressful on mind and body, especially of that fun involves missing sleep or overindulging in alcohol or “party foods.” 

I think I first heard the term “emotional bank account” in a workshop with Dr. John Gottman, the marriage researcher. It’s a concept that applies nicely to some of the recent work that’s come out of the lab of Dr. Barbara Fredrickson , who studies positive emotions. She tells us that experiencing positive emotions is not only pleasant, but actually reduces stress and builds resilience. Combine this with the work of Dr. Fred Bryant on “savoring”, and that of other researchers like Dr. Robert Emmons on the pervasively positive effects of gratitude, and you have the beginnings of a powerful, healthy practice that will serve you well for a lifetime.

Here’s what I teach my clients: Most of us are familiar with the use of the word “savoring” as the sensual enjoyment of the taste, aroma, and texture of good food or drink. Gratitude and its related benefits are enhanced by the mindful savoring of any pleasurable experience, whether it’s a beautiful sunrise, a visit with family or friends, or of course, a good meal. Savoring seems to intensify the emotional dimension of the memory, thereby helping the mind store its positive essence for later benefit.

Try this: The next time you’re especially enjoying an experience, slow down and really focus on whatever aspect of it you find especially pleasant. To magnify the results, be especially attentive to what you see, hear, and feel, both physically and emotionally, and smile. For added benefit, tell yourself to “remember this” experience for which you feel grateful. You’ve just added to your emotional bank account!

Photo by Urban~Spaceman