• They’ll laugh at me because my situation is so embarrassing. For women, remember the first time you went to the gynecologist and you were so nervous, and some older, wiser person told you not to worry because the doctor had seen it all – and worse – before you? Well, the same holds true for psychologists. We’ve heard a lot, probably more than you could ever imagine. Chances are that your story, while embarrassing to you, won’t freak us out. It’s our job to hear all sorts of different things and deal with it in professional, helpful and nonjudgmental ways. It’s one of the key skills we learn over time.
• They’ll blab my problems all over town. One of the best things about psychologists is that, with a few exceptions, what you tell them is confidential. It’s between you and them – no one else. Not even your boyfriend, mom, best friend, spouse can call up and pry the goods out of the tight-lipped psychologist.
• They’ll think I am a terrible person. We all make mistakes, make poor decisions and do things we regret. Most psychologists don’t waste their time judging their clients. They’re too busy listening to what you have to say, thinking of insightful (and hopefully helpful) things to say back and managing the rhythm and pace of the session.
• They’ll think I’m crazy and will have me locked up. This might be one of the most frequent things I hear in my office. And while I have seen many people with many different mental illnesses, I have never diagnosed someone as “crazy,” and I do not have a straightjacket in my closet. The only time I participate in a client being “locked up” is when they are a true danger to themselves or someone else. Not because they have broken up and gotten back together with the same woman seven times, hate their mother, or want to quit their job so they can watch the Twilight Saga movies all day.

The long and short of it is that psychologists are there to listen and help. You should feel confident and safe in their office. And if you don’t, it’s time to talk to them about it, or move on to a different provider.

Photo by: RudeCactus

A New Perspective.  One of the things I help clients with is gaining a new view or perspective on the situations in their lives.  We all get stuck in ruts from time to time, and can begin to feel like we are “stuck” or have “no choice” but to do what we are doing, and often that translates to discomfort, anxiety, or unhappiness.   A psychologist can help their clients identify different, previously un-thought-of choices and plans of action.

New Ways of Thinking About the World and Themselves.  One of the things that psychologists (especially cognitive-behaviorally oriented psychologists) focus on is helping their clients challenge their long-held beliefs and thought patterns.  Often learning to think about things in new, healthier ways can help lead to improved mental health.

New Ways of Behaving.  When it comes to managing stress, anxiety, anger, and other emotions, some of us could use some new, healthier skills.  Much of what psychologists do is teach their clients new coping strategies during difficult, stressful  times in their lives.

A Place to Vent.  While many of my clients use their sessions to learn new skills, some use their time with me to vent, complain, explain, and try to better understand their lives by using me as a sounding board.

I have heard people question the use of therapy, noting that a good friend is just as good.  For some people this may be true, but for many of the folks I work with, they want a confidential, non-judgmental place to talk and learn strategies for achieving better mental health – and as great as friends are, most can’t offer that.

Photo by: jspad

This gloom is not going to make it easy to remain TV Free this afternoon or tomorrow – it’s just such perfect couch and remote control weather.  So in the interest of being prepared, I looked up some indoor activities that my kids and I can do together during what I foresee as being a very long weekend.

• Reverse writing. I got this idea from Amazingmoms.com.  Try writing a word and see if your kids can write it backwards.  If they are older, see if they can do a whole sentence.
• Make a fort.  Activity Village suggests letting your kids make a mess in the living room and make the biggest fort they can. 
• Create an obstacle course.  For those of us with kids who have leftover energy after building a fort, try making an obstacle course.  Act as the coach while your kids are running around and burning off energy – you might even want to join in!
• Play in the rain
• Bake something.  C and H Sugar tweets new recipes everyday – apparently today is National Cherry Cheesecake Day.  Hmmm…I think  could get into that
• Make your own movie.  Essortment.com suggest making your own movies when you can’t watch them.  Pull out all the stops and create a short script, designate a costume designer, and play with the lighting. 

A Challenge for the day

Try something new – whether it is a new recipe, a new activity, a new game, a new puzzle…just something you haven’t done before!

My Reflection for the day

Would going to a movie theater be cheating?

photo by: Argo_72

• “You watch television to turn your brain off and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.”
  – Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Computer and Pixar, in Macworld Magazine, February 2004
•  ”American children and adolescents spend 22 to 28 hours per week viewing television, more than any other activity except sleeping. By the age of 70 they will have spent 7 to 10 years of their lives watching TV.”
  – The Kaiser Family Foundation
• “They put an off button on the TV for a reason. Turn it off . . . I really don’t watch much TV.”
  – President George W. Bush, C-SPAN interview, January 2005
• “Do you know we are ruled by TV?”
  – from the poem An American Prayer by Jim Morrison

 A challenge for the day

I am an avid reader. I average about 1 book per week.  I think that has made this (almost) TV-free week easier for me because it is natural for me to pick up a book instead.  But for some folks (for example, my husband who insists he forgot to read after graduate school) the joy of reading doesn’t come as easily.  So, if you are one of those that needs a little extra prompting to pick up a book or magazine, here are some benefits of reading you may not have thought of:

• The book is ALWAYS better than the movie
• Reading provides more mental exercise  than listening to a CD or watching a movie
• Mental activities can help keep our brains sharp and healthy
• Being able to quote great literature is super cool and impresses people
• Reading can be an excellent way to relieve stress
• Need ideas about where to begin?  Check out your local library.  Need ideas about specific titles to try? Check out Amazon’s top 100 sellers

 Some reflections

So, we got it…books are great.  I’m not sure that I can call my reading material of the last few days fine literature, but it has certainly kept my attention.  Actually, I think I have developed an unhealthy obsession with Bella, Edward, and Jacob of the Twilight Saga…but I will leave that for another post.

Prince Naveen in a Bucket

I cheated, I am just going to admit it right up front. I couldn’t stand the temptation and I watched Glee last night. And it was great. I don’t think I would even feel guilty – except that my kindergartner caught me. I thought she was asleep, and I kept the TV turned down low, but she found me out. This morning she informed me that she was going to talk to her teacher about it. I think I might be in big trouble – her teacher doesn’t mess around with second chances. I’m back in the saddle today, though, and don’t foresee any big temptations coming for the next couple of days. Perhaps some of the facts below might help me stay TV free.

Some hot-off-the-press facts about television viewing in our country

The Kaiser Family Foundation is releasing a report in Washington, D.C. today about media usage by kids. The findings are based on a survey of more than 2,000 American children aged 8 to 18, conducted between October 2008 and May 2009. Some of the results include: 

• The number of children with cell phones has ballooned from 39 percent in 2004 to 66 percent today, and from 18 percent to 76 percent for those with MP3 players
• 71 percent of kids say they have a TV in their bedroom and 50 percent say they have a video game player
• Only 28 percent of kids cited parental rules on TV watching and only 30 percent were subject to rules on video game use. In addition, only 36 percent of parents limited kids’ computer time.
• About 74 percent of teens now have a social-networking page on Face Book or similar site

A challenge for today

One of the things we know about changing behaviors and habits, is that we often have to change our environment and schedules in order to be successful. For the smoker who wants to kick the habit, that may mean changing when or where they shop or eat lunch, in order to avoid temptations. For those of us who want to quit or limit our TV watching, that may mean doing some re-arranging at home. For example:

• Move your television to a less prominent location
• Move your radio or stereo to a place where you might be more likely to listen to it
• Cancel your cable subscription
• Take televisions out of all bedrooms
• Hide the remote control
• Unplug the TV on certain days – or all the time.

My reflection for the day

Before I fell off the wagon last night, I had a memorable experience with my kids. While digging a hole in the garden to put in some strawberry plants (which my kids lost interest in immediately) I literally dug up a toad. My little girls immediately named him Prince Naveen – I’m pretty sure they even tried kissing him. After it became clear he was not going to become a prince, we put him in a bucket and headed out the front door to show off our new friend. Within five minutes, kids from several houses on the street were outside looking at the toad, singing songs from The Princess and the Frog , making a comfy home for him in the bucket, and searching for flies for him to eat. It was a scene right out of a Norman Rockwell painting – and something none of us will soon forget. And it certainly wouldn’t have happened if we had been inside with our eyes and ears glued to the TV.