You work hard all year. Holiday office parties are a time to relax, have fun and get to know your co-workers better.  But watch it, or you may undermine your chances for raises and promotions. You’re not on the clock, but for all intents and purposes, you’re still on the job.

Here are some tips to keep your behavior under control, and still have a good time at your office party:

• Dress modestly.  If you want pizzazz, go for flashy jewelry.  The office party is not the place to show off your new revealing outfit, especially if you care about your professional image.

• Limit alcohol. You’ll be less likely to say and do things that you’ll later regret.  If you tend to have “way too much fun” when you drink, stay dry at the office party.

• Watch your mouth. Cursing and sexual innuendos may be taken the wrong way, even at parties. Play it safe by using language that won’t haunt you 6 months from now.

• Keep your hands to yourself.  Under the guise of “fun” some folks get a bit too touchy-feely at parties.  Don’t risk sexual harassment charges.  If hugging is the norm among your coworkers, hug them as you would your great aunt.

• Assume that photos will be taken and posted online.  These photos can stay online forever. Years from now, how would you like to be depicted?

Photo from *Clos* Photostream via Flickr

• Are mornings too chaotic? Although it is not uncommon for parents to say that school mornings are often frantic and hectic, it might be useful to assess what would make them less so. Identify what might be the source of the primary stress and seek alternatives solutions. For example, if the kids take too long to get ready, you can get them up earlier, have them pick out their clothes the night before, or get them to bed earlier so that they are ready to get going in the morning.
• Are you over-scheduled? It is okay to limit the number of extracurricular activities your kids are involved in, especially if you have more than one child. You can have them choose one after school activity (sport, class) that they can do and enjoy. They might get more out of being involved in one after school activity they enjoy rather than several activities that they may dread doing.  And, as a parent, you might be more present and less overwhelmed if you do not have to run around along with them.
• Are electronics turned off long before bedtime? Studies have shown that kids’ brains need time to turn off before they can fall asleep after playing video games or watching TV. To make sure they are getting the rest they need, establish a bedtime routine that includes no video games, online activity, game playing on their phones, or TV viewing for at least one hour before bedtime. Lack of good sleep can lead to less cooperative behaviors the next day and difficulties at school.

Ultimately, our job as parents is to help our children make good choices and develop life skills that will guide them for life. It is never too early to get started on good habits and to learn how to prioritize.  We can be their best tutor—by modeling.

Photo via: FreeFoto.com

Can you relate the quotation above? Doesn’t procrastination wear you out? It does me. And as a psychologist I KNOW the reasons for my procrastination – yet I still have struggled with it.

Here’s an example. This is a picture of my shirt, taken a few years ago. As you can see in the circled area, a button is missing. For 2 months I looked at that shirt on my dresser morning and night. In total I must have spent almost an hour thinking about sewing the button and feeling guilty that I hadn’t.

Finally one evening I decided to sew on the button. Just for fun, I clocked how long it took – less than five minutes, including the time to find a needle and thread!

In other words I had spent way more time thinking about the task than actually doing it.

Sound familiar? Procrastination is a universal problem. It does waste time. But more importantly, it’s very stressful. It drains your energy, undermines your creativity, and inconveniences others.

So why do we procrastinate?

Procrastination is not a problem of time management. We sometimes try to convince ourselves that there’s not enough time to get started, or that we do our best work under pressure. But these are just excuses.

Nor is procrastination an indicator of laziness. Procrastinators are often overly conscientious, although they have trouble acting on their good intentions.

The real reason we procrastinate is that it gives us instant gratification. Here’s what happens in your mind:

When thinking about the task that you have to do, you start to feel tense or anxious. That’s normal. Now the logical next step would be to do the task and get it over with.

However, it’s much easier and more convenient to promise yourself you’ll do it later – which makes you feel better instantly, without lifting a finger!

Unfortunately, that sense of relief lasts only a short time, because you have to face your unfinished task over and over again – each time feeling a bit worse about the task and about yourself. Eventually there’s no relief at all.

How to stop procrastinating

• The secret to beating procrastination is to break through your psychological resistance. Recognize the tension for what it is, but don’t allow it to control you.
• Think about the task as “I choose to do it,” (not “I have to do it.”) You’re more committed to that which you do voluntarily.
• Plan to work only 15 minutes at a time. You can do almost anything for 15 minutes, can’t you? It takes about that long for your inner tension to subside. At the end of 15 minutes, you can choose to continue for another 15 minutes. But even if you don’t, you’ve accomplished something toward your goal.
• Procrastination is a learned habit. You can retrain that habit. Like any other training, it takes practice. No one can guarantee that you’ll never procrastinate again, but with practice, you’ll get more done and feel better about yourself.

We look forward to reading — and sharing — your posts tomorrow. Who knows what kind of difference it can make in educating more people and changing perceptions and views about what it means to live a healthy life.

If you’re participating in the event, be sure we know about it. Here’s how you can let us know:

• Use the blog badge code (it helps us to track links)
• Post your link in the comments of this blog post.
• Send an email to blogparty@yourmindyourbody.org
• Mention it to @APAHelpCenter on Twitter. Use #mhblogday as a hashtag (mental health blog day, naturally)
• Add your link to our update on APA’s Facebook page (we’ll post a status update tomorrow morning, so you can start commenting and adding links.)

We’ll be updating our blog throughout the day with your links and posts. And if you write something late on Wednesday night, that’s OK too. We’ll share it on Thursday morning.

Thanks for joining us again this year. Words can change lives — let’s see how many we can change in one day.

“I am overwhelmed…”

“I am going crazy…”

“I need a break…”

We have even gotten to the point where being stressed has become the thing-to-do. I have had people tell me that if they are not constantly busy, they feel as if they are not doing their part. We seem to be wearing our stress as a badge of honor and endurance. But at what cost? Are we any happier or more fulfilled?

In the past few decades, we have seen an increase in the number of hours Americans spend at work and away from their families, creating a struggle to find work-life balance. In comparison to other industrialized nations, generally, U.S .workers have less vacation time and take less time off — even when they have earned paid leave.

How does this affect our mental health?

First, we need to define mental health. Good mental health is not just the absence of psychological concerns. It is a resilient spirit that lifts us when we are down, helps us heal when we are hurt, that gives us inner strength when we are burdened.

Then, it’s time to ask yourself some questions to help take stock of your own mental health.

• Do you feel you have balance in your life? If the answer is no, then it might be time to assess what or who is stripping it away. Balance can only be achieved if we make a decision to work toward it. It does not happen magically nor can it be bought.

• Do you regularly engage in behaviors that are nurturing for you? Kids may not the only ones who need a “time-out.” Adults can also benefit from making time to recharge. It may take a good book, good company or a good walk.  Find what works for you and use it.

• Do you surround yourself with positive people that make you want to be a better person? Negativity can be contagious. Be aware of those individuals in your life that drain you and limit your time with them. Invite people into your life that want to better themselves and grow. It makes the journey of life much more enjoyable!

• Are you clear on your values? How you spend your resources (time, money, energy) should reflect your true priorities. By intentionally making decisions that match your values, you can experience greater happiness and authenticity in your life.

Mental health affects all aspects of our lives. When you take charge of it, you can make a big difference in how you live, love, and even how often you laugh. Today is a great time to start!

Photo by Jeff Henshaw via Flickr