Your Mind Your Body

Independence Day will soon be here. Many families are planning picnics, family get togethers and and looking forward to a holiday week-end. But for  thousands of military families, this holiday is an important reminder of the sacrifices that they and their loved ones are making to keep the rest of us safe.  Here are a few ideas to brighten this holiday  and every day for family members who are on deployment.

•  For parents, send a special care package filled with photos, drawings and stories done by the kids.
• Send audio recordings of you and the kids telling mom or dad about the ordinary activities of the day.
• Try to arrange a video conference. Simple webcams on ordinary computers allow real time “visits”. Programs such as Skype can be downloaded for free and are very easy to use.
• Regular emails may not always be received when troops are out on missions. But they are such a treat when the men and women return. So keep the emails and letters coming.

It is really important to remember how hard it is for kids when a parent is away for many months at a time. Children feel lonely, sad, scared and often angry when mom or dad is gone. They may act out more, have increased anxiety and may even show real anger toward the parent at home because they want their other parent to be the one to get them up in the morning, read them stories, play ball with them or put them to bed. A few simple things can really help kids feel connected while a parent is deployed.

• Before  you leave write many notes to the kids on small pieces of paper. Each day your child can read a new message .
•  Buy and wrap a few small packages to be given on special and not so special occasions.
• Continue to send batches of dated notes so the kids can open a new message daily even if you are  away for a long time.
• If you and your spouse each have movie cameras or even cell phones with video capacity it is really helpful to send regular video and audio messages. Hearing your voice can really make kids feel better.
• Visiting by computer on programs like Skype are terrific. Kids can show off their new clothes or toys and even read you a story. But don’t be surprised if your kids, especially younger ones, don’t want to sit around and talk for very long. They may get silly or squirmy. Don’t get angry at them for this behavior. It is really normal.

While you may feel your loved one is being nurtured there are many men and women who have little family and few if any friends to send them small gifts. Consider adopting a soldier. It is easy to get the name of a soldier in such a position. Depression is a real problem for many soldiers. Receiving a small care package from someone who simply wants to say “thank you for serving” can really make someone feel better.

My son-in-law is a Marine pilot. He has been deployed several times. We are very grateful he is home this year on Independence Day. To him and to all our soldiers, men and women as well as their spouses who carry a tremendous burden keeping their homes and children safe, I hope you will all join me in saying a very special Thank You!

photo by DVIDSHUB via Flickr

Filed under: Children, Lifestyle & Behaviors, Parenting