Keeping Your Cool
We all have moments when we feel like screaming at our kids. Many of us, if we are honest, have moments when we would like to haul off and smack our kids. But, we always have choices. We can stop ourselves before or even shortly after we feel we are losing control. We can send our kids to their room or we can go to ours. Adult time outs are wonderful. But we can also try to calmly use some of these moments to teach responsibility.
This week, my daughter was preparing for the return of her husband from Iraq after six months away. The day before his return she splurged and had her house professionally cleaned. She was really enjoying how nice everything looked as she prepared to put the kids to bed. She put her 15-month-old daughter in the bathtub when her five-year-old son said he had to go to the bathroom. No real problem since the toilet is right next to the tub, and he is big enough to take care of this task alone.
So my daughter stood in the bathroom supervising both kids when she realized her son was “spacing out” or something–he wasn’t aiming. In a matter of seconds, her clean toilet, floor and even her leg were wet, and not from the bath water. She told me she remembers feeling very aggravated and saying something to the tune of “How could you miss a hole as big as the toilet?” She grew up with one sister and this never was an issue.
Needing to stay with the baby, she relatively calmly told her son to start cleaning. She sprayed the cleaner on the floor and he did all the wiping up. He actually did a pretty good job. Then he washed his hands and shook them dry…all over the clean mirror! He had to clean that, too.
The baby stayed safe, her son learned that he better watch his aim if he doesn’t want to spend his life cleaning toilets and floors, and my daughter was able to enjoy another few minutes of a clean house…before her husband returned with all his gear and the kids began the normal kid wear in the house the next day.
We all have had these moments. Taking a few minutes to process how you are going to handle a situation makes a huge difference in the lives of our children. We all make mistakes.
I am sure, that in part, my grandson was so excited that his Daddy was coming home, that he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing. In part, however, he is five. And five year olds are not always that careful. But think about how you would like to be treated on a day when you are spaced out, tired or for some reason, have made a mistake. We should be held accountable for our behaviors. But we don’t need to be hit, pushed or screamed at.
I also want to welcome my son-in-law and his fellow Marines back home. Thank you for serving our country and helping to keep us all safe. And thank you to all their spouses, who have held down the fort, cared for the kids, sent care packages to the Marines and made a lot of their own sacrifices. May God bless you all.
Filed under: Children, Lifestyle & Behaviors
