Your Mind Your Body

Summer is often a time when many families relocate, hoping to get settled in their new homes, neighborhoods and schools before the start of the next school year. This can produce a lot of stress for everyone involved. Parents and kids are often sad to leave their friends, close relatives and places they love. Here are a few tips to help everyone cope with these changes.

• Try to visit the new location before you actually move. If you can’t take everyone, be sure they get to see pictures of where you are going.
• Have a party for you and your children to say good-bye to friends.
• Make a photo album of memories and let family and friends sign it.
• Go to the places you have been meaning to visit in your current town (but never did) before you leave.
• Get maps and brochures of your new town and make a list of all the places you want to visit when you move. Be sure to follow-up and check off these places after you have moved and been able to go there.
• Let the kids plan their new bedrooms. They can look at paint colors and think about “themes” they might like in their new room.
• Have a good-bye ceremony in your current house. Many children and adults enjoy saying good-bye to each room. Some take a few minutes to talk about fun things that happened in each room.
• If you can, buy a web-cam for your computer. They only cost around 75 dollars. If your close family or friends do the same, then you can download free programs, such as Skype, and have live video talks after you move. This really is fun. I do this with my grandchildren all the time. It really helps you feel like you have actually had a visit.
• Arrange to visit your child’s new school before the first day in the fall. Ask the principal if they will pair your child up with a first week “buddy” to ease the transition.
• Talk to your children about the fact that change is a part of life. This helps to build resilience. But also validate their feelings. If they tell you they are sad or angry about the move, let them know that it is OK to feel that way. As they settle in to their new life, let them know you are proud of them for dealing with the changes.
• Reassure them that even though there will be a lot of changes, a lot will also stay the same. You will still love them and you can still maintain many of your “old” family traditions.
• Take care of yourself. Join a Mom’s group, Dad’s group, Church or Synagogue as soon as possible after you move. These are good places to make friends and find out important information such as good babysitters, nice supermarkets or specialty shops etc. Many times, kids actually adjust faster than the parents. If you find yourself feeling lonely, sad or even depressed after you move, talk to a mental health professional. Psychologists, social workers and other mental health professionals are well trained to help you as you adjust to the changes and improve your own resilience.

Filed under: Lifestyle & Behaviors, Parenting