Your Mind Your Body

The latest string of bad economic news – long-term unemployment at record high levels, more  foreclosures and few new jobs being created – spells continuing stress for many Americans and is contributing to their gloomy outlook about the economy.

As a clinical psychologist, some of my patients tell me they feel like the folks who were trying to cap the oil spill in the Gulf–each day feels more disheartening and more overwhelming than the last. Being out of control to fix one’s life can quickly lead to anxiety, and even clinical depression, if left untreated.

If you feel like you can relate, here a few strategies to help regain your sense of control and keep your cool during these sweltering summer months.

Sort out which life stressors are in your control and which ones are not. For instance, you can control your emotional reactions to your boss or your spouse or whether you choose to get up in the morning and begin to look for work or not.

Let go of what you can’t control. You must learn to let go of what you can’t control, like whether your boss or your spouse is in a good mood, or whether the stock market rises or tumbles.

 Write a short and long-term plan to deal with the things you can control. It’s helpful to check these plans with a trusted friend or family member for help. If you’re out of work, for instance, make a list of all your contacts and let each one know all of your talents and skills and that you’re ready to work.

Structure a regular routine even if you’re out of work. Structure and routine and social support are very important for psychological well-being and help fend off depression. Get up every morning at the usual time and dress for work. Continue your regular exercise routine and stay in regular contact with your friends and family.

Don’t give up! This is the worst recession most of us have ever experienced. Know that you’re not alone. If you or a loved one is feeling out of control and struggling for at least two weeks or more, seek professional help. Talk to your family physician and ask for a referral to a clinical psychologist or other mental health professional. You may find free or low-cost therapy options in your community. They can help you regain your equilibrium.

Photo by respres (via Flickr)

Filed under: Lifestyle & Behaviors, Resilience, Stress | No Comments »

This week is Healthy Media for Youth Week (July 12-16), a week to draw attention to the impact that sexualized media images have on all of us, and in particular, girls and women. It also promotes national legislation to increase research, youth empowerment and media literacy programs, and create a Federal Communications Commission task force to help curb this serious issue.

As the mom of two very young girls, I am hyper aware of the sexualization of girls and women in the media.  And as a psychologist, I work with lots of tween and teen girls and watch them struggle to understand the images they see on TV, online and in print, and how those images relate to their lives. And research repeatedly shows the strong link between these images and mental health problems such as depression, eating disorders and a low self-esteem.

I am aware of folks who believe we should eliminate all media presence from our children’s lives and require them to wear clothing that reveals nothing.  But I am not convinced that these extreme measures are the most effective route to helping our girls (and boys!) develop healthy, realistic and sustainable concepts of themselves and the people around them.  The fact is, most of us live in a media- and sex-saturated society; while we can work to reverse or slow the trend, we also need learn to live in it.

Here are some tips for helping children manage what they see and hear and make healthy choices:

Stay Engaged

In previous posts I have written about the importance of understanding of your children’s online life.  I think the same holds true for all types of media – not just the computer kind.  Check in on the shows your kids are watching; listen to the music they listen to; read the magazines they read.  When I sat down and really watched some of the shows my kids were watching, I was appalled.  I quickly realized that some of the “children’s programming” just did not jibe with the lessons about family, body image, and relationships that I was trying to instill in my kids.  

Talk A Lot but Listen More

There are literally hundreds of opportunities everyday to engage your child in a conversation about sex, relationships, and body image.  A billboard on the way to swim practice, a magazine cover in the doctor’s waiting room, sassy song lyrics on the radio – these are all conversation starters.  Instead of dominating the conversation talking about why you think something is right or wrong, let your kids take the lead.  I am continually amazed at the insight and maturity many kids have about these topics – we just need to give them the opportunity to tell us!

Be the Teacher

Yes, we live in a media-driven world, but don’t forget the power you have as a parent.  You are still your child’s first and most important teacher and role model.  Even if they don’t seem to be watching or listening to you – DON’T BE FOOLED – they are!  Check in with yourself and other prominent adults in your children’s lives.  Are you living the life you want them to see?  Develop and demonstrate a healthy sense of self and your kids will very likely follow behind.

Photo by TheErin (via flickr).

Filed under: Children, Parenting, Women | 7 Comments »

Summer is a great time to get the kids involved in activities they are often unable to do during the school year. These can include overnight summer camps.  Choosing a camp that adequately fits your child’s temperament and their experiences with away-from-home stays is vital. Even though we may have forgotten, overnight camp is a big deal for tweens and even teens, and can bring about a range of emotions from excitement to extreme apprehension.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Be careful not to assume that they will love camp just because their siblings or friends did. Listen to their particular concerns.
• For some children, having a friend at camp with them might make a big difference.
• Be aware of your own emotions. For instance, if you show hesitation, they may feel more reluctant to go.
• Remember that your emotions and attitude can also show up in the love notes that you tuck away in their suitcase. Avoid emphasizing how much you are going to miss them, but rather write about looking forward to hearing all about their experience when they return.

Ultimately, some children may not be ready for an overnight, week-long camp. If they have expressed a great deal of doubt and dread, have a contingency plan for them to come home, if needed. Feeling a bit nervous about camp can be expected; being so anxious that they fear their camp experience or cannot partake in the camp activities may not be worth it. Remember that just like in baseball, there is always next year…

Photo by: Joe Cavazos via Flickr

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