If you’re not careful, your bargain shopping can be very expensive. My kids have heard me say many times, “Let’s leave the store now. I can’t afford to save any more money.”

Shopping is not a rational process. If it were, we’d buy strictly what we need. Instead, we generally purchase what we want, and justify it afterwards. e.g., “I wouldn’t usually pay that much for lime-green shoes. These don’t even go with much in my closet. But they were half off the regular price of $300, and they’re really comfortable.”

Sales and discount prices may seem to be about rational numbers. But they are engineered to influence you on a deep emotional level.

Here are some ways that merchants get you to part with your money:

Price anchoring – Anything on sale mentions the “regular price” of the item, which serves as an anchor – the basis of comparison with the discounted price.

Suppose  you are looking at 2 very similar sweaters: one is the store brand priced at $30 (not on sale) and the other is a name brand marked down from $79 to $45. Chances are you would be willing to spend the extra 15 bucks, because you are “saving” so much on the deal. If that same sweater were regularly priced at $45 would you still choose it?

Scarcity – Anything that is limited, whether it’s time or resources, tends to make us want it more. That’s why ads with the following phrases get us motivated to buy:

• Time-limited sale – “Today only;” “Door-buster special 8 -10 am;” “Offer expires at midnight”
• Limited supply – “Only 12 left;” “Limited edition;” “They’re flying off the shelves;” Blue-light special (where mobs of people flock to a merchandise table)
• Last chance to save – “When they’re gone, they’re gone forever.”

Some online and TV merchants create a sense of scarcity by displaying the quantity of an item remaining as other orders are filled, and/or by showing a count-down timer reminding you that time is running out.

Free extras – High-end cosmetic companies often include a bunch of samples “valued at $58” (according to them) with any purchase from their already expensive product line. Thus, you can justify spending $25 for lipstick, because of all the free stuff that comes with it (most of which you probably won’t use.)

People tend to buy more when something free is included. Have you ever stocked up on buy-one-get-one free offers for items that you would not usually even buy one of?  Or charged more than you can afford on your credit card in order to get travel miles? It’s hard to resist, because it seems like such a bargain – and we hate the thought of losing out on it, even if it’s for something we don’t need or want.

Everybody loves free, including me. A while back I was shopping online for a simple cable. I found two with similar specs and equally good reviews. One cost $6.95 plus $2.95 for shipping, bringing the total to $9.90. The other was $12.95 with free shipping. I confess that I vacillated between the two, because somehow the more expensive item seemed like a better bargain due to the free shipping!

As you can see, even knowing how powerful “free” can be, did not fully protect me from falling for it. It took a few minutes for my logic to override my emotions, and I did end up ordering the less expensive cable (which works just fine).

How to not go broke on bargains

Low price is not a bargain if you don’t need or use the item, There’s actually a cost to owning stuff that you don’t need. It takes up space and gets in the way. Once you’ve owned it for a while, your thrill of procuring the item will fade, eclipsed by annoyance at having to store and move it.

Next time you’re shopping for items on sale, be selective. Ask yourself:

• Will this item improve my life or that of the person I’m gift-shopping for?
• The item that I’m getting for free – would I pay for it if it weren’t free?
• Do I have an intended recipient for this gift item?
• Is this gift something the recipient likely wants? Or is it just that I want them to have it?
• If I let this one “get away” how much will I really regret it later?

And one more thing …Eat before you go shopping. Hunger is a motivator, and might motivate you into buying more than you bargained for.

(For more info about what motivates buying decisions, check out Dr. Dan Ariely’s writing and research.)

Photo by jzlomek

So much energy and anticipation is involved in the holidays that it is not unusual to experience a small letdown after the celebrations are over. There are ways, however, to move into the new year with a clear conscious and a fresh outlook. With that in mind, here are a few of my favorite remedies for beating the post-holiday blues.

• Give yourself time to relax and recuperate. Sometimes it can be helpful to set aside time during the day that is devoted to nothing but your own mental health. Taking a short walk, spending a few minutes reflecting on positive memories, or simply closing your eyes and collecting your thoughts are all activities that can facilitate a sense of calm and peacefulness.
• Take time to reflect on and review the holidays. As mentioned before, the holidays can often be a blur, so taking a few moments to review what you are truly thankful for can be a helpful way of gaining some closure on the past year and moving on to a new one. 
• Don’t dwell on what went wrong during the holidays. No holiday season will be flawless, and if you are expecting perfection, chances are you will be disappointed. I encourage people to try to take things like a lopsided Christmas tree, a burned turkey or a dropped plate full of food in stride and realize that these are the memories that will probably stick with us, whether we like it or not. So, oftentimes our best option is to try to practice resilience and flexibility and make the most out of whatever situation has occurred while moving forward.
• Try to get back on a regular schedule. So often during the holidays we change what we eat, how much we sleep, and our regular daily schedule. Getting back into a normal routine can be comforting and help to ease some of the tension and uncertainty that comes from the hustle and bustle of the holidays.
• If you make a New Year’s resolution, don’t worry too much if you have a setback. Most people fail to keep up with New Year’s resolutions. If there are things you would like to change about your day-to-day life, remember that these will take time. It is acceptable to go slow and start small. Lifestyle changes are major adjustments, and taking a long-term view on implementing these choices can help relieve some of the pressure we often place on ourselves to make changes too quickly.

The American Psychological Association also has a number of helpful resources that can provide more information on these topics. There is information on ways to manage depression, tips for healthy stress management, and how to tell if your holiday blues might be something more serious, like depression.

Photo by mewall82 (via Flickr)

I’ve been thinking about how the Christmas gatherings we’ll participate in over the next two weeks seem to cause a lot of us more stress than joy, and it’s often because we don’t enjoy the people we’re planning to see. We get caught up in the expectations–what these events ought to be like, how the house should look, what another’s response should be to a gift or meal. Our heads aren’t dancing with sugarplums; they’re doing mental gymnastics–comparing all that is happening with an imagined ideal that’s probably different for everyone in the room.

I want to suggest keeping it simple this Christmas. Think generosity–”no strings attached.” Generosity is not trying to please everyone in the house or buying everyone the perfect gift. If we’re honest with each other, that heroic approach to hospitality and gift-buying has strings attached, doesn’t it?

Rather, think of it as spending the moment to offer something to the people around you.

Smile. Listen. Give real hugs.

Be willing to give help, and accept help. If you’re giving a gift or preparing a meal, resist measuring the reactions or counting the thank yous. Just give. Psychologists have identified some personal benefits from generosity, but this week, I’m not going to say anything about those benefits. Remember, no strings attached.

Photo by life is good (pete) via flickr

And all that flying around makes Santa hungry. What’s the harm in eating cookies one night per year? It’s the holidays! Plus, no one is counting the hot cocoa and marshmallows Mrs. Claus makes every night in December. Or the feast at the Annual Elves’ Ball. Or the eggnog and pie that are in the company kitchen during the holidays. I mean, isn’t it good to get in the holiday spirit and be part of the team? Even if that means overindulging on yummy, rich, sugary treats?

One evening of a “few” cookies would not be harmful, but let’s face it, Santa is not exactly Mr. Exercise and he eats more than a “few” cookies.  Just like the rest of us (no matter if we’re on the nice or naughty list), Santa shouldn’t eat cookies all the time. Ah, there’s the dilemma.  How can Santa make better choices without hurting others’ feelings and without feeling deprived?

How can Santa change the tradition and habit? Here are a few suggestions for him and the “Santa” within each of us.

• Prepare prior to the holidays by joining the Reindeer Walking Group or the Elves’ Yoga Class.  Perhaps, getting up 10 minutes early to do some stretches and a short walk before breakfast would be a small, but fairly simple healthy change.

• Eat before leaving the North Pole on Christmas Eve. Santa has access to healthier foods that will curb his appetite so he doesn’t snarf up all the cookies he sees.

• Leave little notes as a reminder that to continue delivering all of these gifts, he must focus on better health.  Be a role-model for others. Thank the children for their thoughtfulness and tell them how much it meant to you that they worked so hard. That may excite the children more than seeing crumbs on a plate.

• Give the cookies to the reindeer. They will eat less and they are expending way more energy.

• Gather the cookies and take them to the North Pole for a Post-Gift Delivery Celebration! The elves who work hard throughout the year can share in and appreciate the treats.

• Take a few bites and eat less overall. Select the healthier cookie varieties to munch on.  Yes, there are healthier cookies and holiday treats. There is no doubt some of those families are health conscious, too.

• Focus on other aspects of the holiday season, like sharing times with the elves and Mrs. Claus, making special presents for others, taking the time to deliver these gifts and savor the moments.

Holidays are a special time. They are full of many things that remind us how wonderful life is. Perhaps it is time for Santa to be a better role model by eating healthier and teaching children and families that we can give and share in other ways.  Perhaps, we could all support Santa in his desire to live a healthier life by leaving a simple handwritten ‘thank you’ card instead of cookies this year.  Sometimes something simple can make all the difference.

Photo by conniefoggles via flickr.

The question that comes to mind for me is, what are we trying to prove? Worse yet, what is this doing to our children who are being set-up to think that they are entitled to every holiday wish?

Here are some things for parents to consider:

1. Prioritize your children’s top wishes

Children often say they want just about all that they see on TV or at the store, just to forget it by the next day. Pay attention to the things that they are consistently interested in and that you feel are reasonable and age-appropriate.

2. Avoid giving them any indication that they will get all they want

Give yourself permission to put your holiday expenses on a budget. You can even set a budget limit on what kids request from Santa. Do not get carried away by the holiday rush. Remember what it feels like when the bills hit the mailbox in January. If you are proactive, you just might avert a case of post-holiday shock.

3. Make holiday memories that are truly long-lasting

Children might not remember what gift or toy they got two holidays ago. However, they will remember that together you sang songs by the fire, or had snow ball fights, or baked special holiday cookies, or made new ornaments each year.

Remember that not giving your children all they want does not make you a bad parent. Even if you could afford it, do they really need to have it all?  Is that really what the holidays are all about? Do they even appreciate what they get? Who are you truly trying to satisfy? The answers to these questions might surprise you, but may also bring more joy and sanity to your holiday season.

Photo via Bing