Your Mind Your Body

Earlier this week, a friend forwarded an article from the Wall Street Journal that I found interesting and thought was worth mentioning on the blog. The article identifies a growing trend where employees are using paid vacation so they can make time to provide care for someone else.

According to the report, about 61% of employees had used at least one day of paid vacation time, and more than 9% had taken a week or more, during the preceding year so they could care for a loved one. The study did not identify a specific group, but in my clinical work it seems as though this has become most common for adults in the age range of 40-60.  Sometimes referred to as the “Sandwich Generation,” this group is often still engaged in a full-time job, but also finds itself simultaneously caring for both older children and aging parents. 

One thing the study highlights is the hectic pace that many of us find ourselves struggling to maintain. For many, attempting to juggle the demands of work and family can be overwhelming. The increasing number of people using paid vacation time to address otherwise unmet caregiving duties is a symptom of this problem.

On one hand, this approach is a logical way to balance the numerous demands of a very busy schedule. On the other hand, I am also concerned that frequently giving up vacation time to make room for caregiving could have unhealthy consequences down the road.

In my day-to-day practice, I often see caregivers struggle with the challenge of balancing the demands of caring for others with the needs of caring for themselves. Many then find themselves sacrificing their own well-being for that of the people they are helping to care for. And when this happens, they find themselves no longer maintaining their own regular medical appointments, losing touch with friends and family, and withdrawing from the activities they enjoy.

So what’s the answer? How do we maintain a job, care for those who rely on us, and still have time left over for the things we enjoy? Unfortunately, there isn’t a simple answer. But there are ways to find balance in this process. Here are a few tips that could be helpful for those who are trying to juggle caring for themselves and someone else.  

•  Strive for balance in everyday life. Making your best effort to not only attend to the needs of others, but also avoid the temptation to neglect your own physical and mental health. Be kind to yourself. 
• Watch for warning signs that you are becoming overly stressed. People experience stress in different ways, and the symptoms can include both physical and psychological factors. Some people have a hard time concentrating or making decisions, some feel angry, and some experience headaches or muscle tension. 
•  Treat yourself to small indulgences whenever possible. Simple actions such as taking time to watch a favorite television show, sneaking a bite of chocolate, or taking a break to soak up some sunshine outside do not require a lengthy time commitment and the payoff can be worth it. 
• Use the support available to you. Whether it comes from family or friends, there is often help out there, and sometimes all it takes is asking for it. 

Photo by mirefugio20 (at flickr)

Filed under: Aging, Lifestyle & Behaviors, Stress, Work/Life