When It Comes to Healthcare Debate, Focus on Interests
Edwin Starr once lamented, “War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.” That may not always hold true for people who are in conflict. As we have witnessed the past several months, during the debate over healthcare reform, it may feel like an emotional battle has ensued, leaving many with hurt feelings on each side of the debate. While it may not feel good, there is much to be gained from the presence of conflict. Through active listening and purposefulness, a newfound understanding can be forged between those in conflict, leading to a closer, deeper understanding. Isn’t that what we all want?
You might be thinking that it is all about healthy communication. Well, not exactly. While effective communication is important and critical, if we are focused on the wrong target, we’re still going to miss the point. So, what should we do to untangle ourselves from the emotional trappings of this political 
debate?
We all know conflict when we see it and we know that it doesn’t feel good…mostly, because we are feeling threatened in some way. Too often, we respond to these perceived threats in a defensive manner; looking to deflect or counter any attacks thrown our way. However, when this happens, each party gets too focused on just their ultimate goal. In other words, the position (or outcome) that we are seeking becomes the focus. Once we go there, it is likely that we are going to get stuck in a war unless one side gives up or is defeated, hurt, and angry.
Rather than focusing on what you and the other person want (the position), it is imperative that we put our energies into understanding each other’s interests. In other words, interests are the reasons we want a particular outcome. While it may be likely that those involved may want differing outcomes, there is greater likelihood that we can come to a successful resolution by examining each party’s reasons for why something is important. Obviously, clear and effective communication can facilitate this process. However, it is essential to know what is driving the conflict. Once we can appreciate where the other party is coming from, we can collaborate together to find a mutually successful resolution with the fringe benefit of a healthy bipartisan relationship.
Filed under: Lifestyle & Behaviors, Relationships, Stress, Women, Work/Life
